February, 2009
More chemo.
I am now getting chemo with a schedule of every two weeks. I continue to give my self shots in the belly every night after each treatment. By Day number 5, I really hated that shot. But, I went along with my treatment program - I want to live!
There has been no birthday, no Christmas, no New Years celebrations - there has been treatments. That is the focus for me. Keep doing what the UCSD Cancer Center people tell me to do so that I can live.
I did not have surgery first, as most breast cancer patients do. I had chemo first, to try and shrink the size of my tumour.
So, the chemo treatments and trying to recover from the chemo treatments, getting through the most basic functioning and taking care of my pets and myself were all I could do.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
2009 - More Chemo
Merry Christmas, you got chemo!
And the Year 2008, went out quietly.
2009
Happy New Year, You've got more chemo...................
The chemo treatments continue. I felt out of it and VERY ill. It is as if your body is trying to squeeze every drop of poison out of your system. I sweated, got cold, got very sick. Surprisingly, to a lot of people, I did not experience much nausea. I was given anti-nausea medication, steroids, fluid IV, and a cocktail of medications before, during, and after the chemo treatment. I took a pill on Day One - the first day of chemo, a very expensive pill, for anti - nausea. I took Reglan and other anti - nausea meds were administered during the treatments.
All of the anti - nausea meds were of a newer generation and they worked pretty well for me. I really didn't have much nausea, but felt ill, as in worse that the worse flu you can have.
Three weeks after my first chemo, I cut my hair to my shoulders, knowing that very soon, my hair would be coming out. The chemo nurses and my oncologist had advised me that it would be coming out.
They were right...............my hair begain to come out in large clumps about 3 and a half weeks since the first chemo.
One Year Ago - in January 2009, I had my hairdresser shave my head. I had read about other breast cancer patients and I had gotten a wig. I decided that having my hair come out daily and having it fall into the shower would be more depressing and stressful than just getting my head shaved. Very shocking, but at that point, I spent so much time being sick from the chemo, that I didn't really deal with it.
And the Year 2008, went out quietly.
2009
Happy New Year, You've got more chemo...................
The chemo treatments continue. I felt out of it and VERY ill. It is as if your body is trying to squeeze every drop of poison out of your system. I sweated, got cold, got very sick. Surprisingly, to a lot of people, I did not experience much nausea. I was given anti-nausea medication, steroids, fluid IV, and a cocktail of medications before, during, and after the chemo treatment. I took a pill on Day One - the first day of chemo, a very expensive pill, for anti - nausea. I took Reglan and other anti - nausea meds were administered during the treatments.
All of the anti - nausea meds were of a newer generation and they worked pretty well for me. I really didn't have much nausea, but felt ill, as in worse that the worse flu you can have.
Three weeks after my first chemo, I cut my hair to my shoulders, knowing that very soon, my hair would be coming out. The chemo nurses and my oncologist had advised me that it would be coming out.
They were right...............my hair begain to come out in large clumps about 3 and a half weeks since the first chemo.
One Year Ago - in January 2009, I had my hairdresser shave my head. I had read about other breast cancer patients and I had gotten a wig. I decided that having my hair come out daily and having it fall into the shower would be more depressing and stressful than just getting my head shaved. Very shocking, but at that point, I spent so much time being sick from the chemo, that I didn't really deal with it.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Back to.......December 2008
There's really no way to prepare yourself for the after shocks of chemotherapy.
You lie there feeling more sick than you can imagine. Your body has been fed a lot of poison and it is reeling!
This is when you know that you are seriously ill.
All of the biopsies haven't even healed yet. 24 Biopsies on each side. A lot of pain.
I have now been in so many imaging machines with the medical workers dressed in Haz-Mat suits administering to me, that I really am expecting to be able to glow in the dark.
Now with this chemotherapy, I am to give myself shots in my stomach every night for five nights after Day One. Starting on Day Two, I give myself shots to help build up white blood cells that were destroyed by the chemotherapy. They literally build you up so that you can be torn down, i.e., have another chemo treatment. You will be wiped out and you will need someone to drive you home each time. Check - I had that.
You keep getting chemo for three - four months - unless something stops your chemo treatments.
That happened to me. I had a side effect called neuropathy. Meaning that you lose the ablility to feel in your feet and in your hands, especially your toes and your fingers. It was hard to walk for a while. This complication caused me to have my last two chemo treatments cancelled.
Then, there are times when your body can't take a chemotherapy treatment. That happened to me also. I had to be rehydrated and wait another week for my treatment.
Yes, I had no hair. That happened three weeks after the first treatment.
You lie there feeling more sick than you can imagine. Your body has been fed a lot of poison and it is reeling!
This is when you know that you are seriously ill.
All of the biopsies haven't even healed yet. 24 Biopsies on each side. A lot of pain.
I have now been in so many imaging machines with the medical workers dressed in Haz-Mat suits administering to me, that I really am expecting to be able to glow in the dark.
Now with this chemotherapy, I am to give myself shots in my stomach every night for five nights after Day One. Starting on Day Two, I give myself shots to help build up white blood cells that were destroyed by the chemotherapy. They literally build you up so that you can be torn down, i.e., have another chemo treatment. You will be wiped out and you will need someone to drive you home each time. Check - I had that.
You keep getting chemo for three - four months - unless something stops your chemo treatments.
That happened to me. I had a side effect called neuropathy. Meaning that you lose the ablility to feel in your feet and in your hands, especially your toes and your fingers. It was hard to walk for a while. This complication caused me to have my last two chemo treatments cancelled.
Then, there are times when your body can't take a chemotherapy treatment. That happened to me also. I had to be rehydrated and wait another week for my treatment.
Yes, I had no hair. That happened three weeks after the first treatment.
Now What, the sequel.....Flash forward to 2010
I have learned that this must be the hardest thing I have ever gone through. It has to be.
I have learned that you can have a family of non-related people that surround you with nurturing, care, love, support, and respect.
My pets also make me happy. Sounds so simple, doesn't it? As much of a big pain in the butt that they can be, they are also my special joy. I have a puppy, Laci June. She is such a delight at this time in my life. Yes, it is hard to raise a puppy when you are ill. When you are weak, in pain, and sweating like crazy from the chemical induced menopause that you deal with 24/7.
At least that seems to be one of the major "unfun" things that has come as a result of my treatments and my ongoing medication. The sweating - the chemopause.
Nobody really tells you what this part will be like. And that's not good!
For me, it has been very challenging, but I want to go on and on, so I must continue to deal with this VERY difficult side effect. I was never a sweater. I ran more on the coolish side. Not anymore. I get hot, really hot and no matter how many showers I take, it just keeps happening.
Enough about that for now - but it is at the forefront of my life now.
Little Laci makes me smile a lot these days. I can't say for the other two fur family members.
I have my hair growing back really curly. So not me.............can't wait to see how it turns out.
Now, I want my energy back as well. So, it is a process, a journey.
I have learned that you can have a family of non-related people that surround you with nurturing, care, love, support, and respect.
My pets also make me happy. Sounds so simple, doesn't it? As much of a big pain in the butt that they can be, they are also my special joy. I have a puppy, Laci June. She is such a delight at this time in my life. Yes, it is hard to raise a puppy when you are ill. When you are weak, in pain, and sweating like crazy from the chemical induced menopause that you deal with 24/7.
At least that seems to be one of the major "unfun" things that has come as a result of my treatments and my ongoing medication. The sweating - the chemopause.
Nobody really tells you what this part will be like. And that's not good!
For me, it has been very challenging, but I want to go on and on, so I must continue to deal with this VERY difficult side effect. I was never a sweater. I ran more on the coolish side. Not anymore. I get hot, really hot and no matter how many showers I take, it just keeps happening.
Enough about that for now - but it is at the forefront of my life now.
Little Laci makes me smile a lot these days. I can't say for the other two fur family members.
I have my hair growing back really curly. So not me.............can't wait to see how it turns out.
Now, I want my energy back as well. So, it is a process, a journey.
December 2008
My first chemo session.
Whoa!
A little nerve wracking to say the least.
The appointment has been changed several times.
With the holidays coming, I have to be fit in.
My new team of doctors are in a hurry, especially Dr. S, my oncologist.
December 23, 2008.
They hook me up to IVs.
I get the strongest chemo available for breast cancer. A/C. The bright red devil. Actually it has several nicknames. Just do this and get it over with to help save me, right?
I had NO idea what I was in for.
Whoa!
A little nerve wracking to say the least.
The appointment has been changed several times.
With the holidays coming, I have to be fit in.
My new team of doctors are in a hurry, especially Dr. S, my oncologist.
December 23, 2008.
They hook me up to IVs.
I get the strongest chemo available for breast cancer. A/C. The bright red devil. Actually it has several nicknames. Just do this and get it over with to help save me, right?
I had NO idea what I was in for.
November 2008
This has changed my life forever. I have been diagnosed with breast cancer at age 51.
Oh My God. Now what????
Anyone who goes through this must have to be 1) completely overwhelmed, 2) wondering "what did I do wrong" or "why me?" and 3) now what?
Since November 2008, I have been working on all three of these 1, 2, and 3, but mostly on number 3 - Now What?
Now What has been a long journey that started with learning that I had breast cancer. Large, advanced breast cancer.
I got on the internet and started researching for help with treatment. I found that!!! Hallelujeah!
And so the long journey began...........
Oh My God. Now what????
Anyone who goes through this must have to be 1) completely overwhelmed, 2) wondering "what did I do wrong" or "why me?" and 3) now what?
Since November 2008, I have been working on all three of these 1, 2, and 3, but mostly on number 3 - Now What?
Now What has been a long journey that started with learning that I had breast cancer. Large, advanced breast cancer.
I got on the internet and started researching for help with treatment. I found that!!! Hallelujeah!
And so the long journey began...........
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